Getting in Shape Series - Step 5 - Shifting Your Identity

By Paul Piotrowski on Jan 8, 2007 in Health and Fitness

Today we’ll cover a very important step in achieving long term success with your health & fitness program. If you’ve been following this series from the start, you should by now have a written down Outcome/Vision statement which outlines exactly WHAT you want and WHY you want it. You should also have a written down set of negative beliefs that may have prevented you from achieving success in the past, as well as a written down set of positive beliefs which will help you on your journey. Your negative beliefs should have been replaced with positive beliefs (on paper) and you should have implemented at least a few types of leverage to really solidify your commitment to the plan.
Although I didn’t specifically cover techniques for making your fitness plan fun, I have written an article on it in the past which you can see here, and I will come back to this point if it needs further clarification.
If you’ve done all this, I’ll now cover the next step which is to shift your identity. What does it mean to shift your identity? Well, shifting your identity is really the process that really solidifies everything we’ve learned above into a nice, complete package. We need to understand that we are human beings, not robots, and our emotional needs need to be met in order for us to feel fulfilled. A very large part of where our emotional needs and rules come from is our identity. Our identity is the picture inside our heads which tells us who we are. It is not just a picture physically what we look like, but also the type of personality we are, how we behave, what we think, how we dress, who we hang out with, and so on.
Our identity shapes the thoughts and actions we take on a daily basis. Since you’re reading this series, your current identity has probably created a state of un-health, or un-fitness. Meaning, you’re unhealthy or out of shape, or most likely both. The sum of all the thoughts in your head, and all your action habits forms this identity that you see in the mirror every day.
It is now time to change that. It doesn’t mean that you will lose your self, that you will change into a stranger you might not like. It simply means you will change your current identity from an unhealthy, unfit person, into the identity of a fit and healthy one. That’s ultimately what you want, right? To wake up one day and feel like a healthy and fit person with all the benefits associated with that. Well, there are a number of ways to go about changing into that person, and what I want to describe to you is a method of doing it which is the easiest and least painful way of doing it.
When most people create an exercise program or set a goal to lose weight or get in shape, they don’t even realize that they are setting out to change their identity. Some people are scared to change their identity, because they are afraid of the unknown. They are comfortable with their current identity because it’s predictable and there aren’t very many unknowns to surprise them. Even if they are unhealthy and unfit, they still cling onto what’s familiar to them, because it’s comfortable. Although they might “try to go on a diet” or “try to get into shape”, they are simply talking about taking a few actions, but they don’t look at it as a need to re-define their identity. So the first step is to become aware and comfortable with the fact that between now and the time you are healthy and fit your identity is going to change a bit. If you don’t like the word “change”, think of it as “improve” or “update” or “upgrade”. Your identity is going to improve. Your identity is going to be updated or upgraded, whichever word suits you. So, are you ready to accept this? If so, continue reading.
So once you’ve accepted the fact that your identity will need to shift, it’s very important to start thinking about this and to really think about the type of person you will need to be in order to achieve your goal. Imagine yourself already being fit and healthy and ask yourself some questions. What do you feel like? Do you feel healthy, energized, full of life, confident, happy, and excited? What does that feel like? What kinds of things do you feel like doing as this person? Do you sit around and watch TV most of the time, or now that you’re “in shape” do you prefer to go outdoors and go hiking or biking, or play some sorts of sports? I understand that right now, with your current identity these things might not seem fun to you because you’re out of shape, but once you’re in shape do you think you’ll want to do those things?
What about your eating habits? Where do you see yourself eating your healthy meals? Are you at home at the kitchen table, eating a healthy meal? Are you at a restaurant eating a meal? Which restaurant? What do you do for lunch now that you’re healthy? Are you packing a lunch to work? Are you going out with your co-workers? Where do you eat if they are not eating as healthy as you? These are all questions you need to start asking yourself to really identify with that person of the future. It might seem overwhelming at first, but you just need to take small steps towards that.
I’ll give you some examples of how I started to implement my new identity into my life. I realized that as my new healthy identity, I see myself more in tune with my body and more aware of my health. I see myself going to a Naturopath instead of a regular doctor. I see myself listening to the advice of a nutritionist, not the advice I hear from the TV marketing departments or my friends. My healthy self wouldn’t listen to a commercial on TV for nutritional advice. My healthy self wouldn’t attack disease by going to a doctor after the symptoms already showed up; he would take preventative actions to prevent the disease in the first place.
Just these two realizations alone made me realize that I have old beliefs associated with my old identity that I need to get rid of. The first one was that I never go to the doctor unless things get really bad, because I hate going to the doctor. I now replaced that belief with a belief of seeing a naturopath so that I can take preventative measures to stay healthy and to prevent disease before it ever shows up. It makes sense to change the oil in your car before the engine seizes up, so why wouldn’t it make sense to take preventative measures with my body? So, just like that, my beliefs changed according to my new identity. Immediately after that I called a naturopath, booked an appointment and went to see him last Wednesday. Old Paul probably wouldn’t have done that, because he didn’t like doctors. New Paul is serious about his health so he went to see a naturopathic doctor so that he can take preventative steps towards a healthy, disease-free life. See how this works? See how you start to shift your identity from version 1.0 to version 2.0? A new and improved YOU.
Another example is how I eat when I go out. The old me would look at the menu at the restaurant and pick something I would like the taste of, not really looking at the nutritional value the meal would provide. It was more like “What’s gonna fill me up?”. I realized that my new identity wouldn’t do that. My new identity would think about the nutritional value of the food he is eating as well as the taste, and not just order everything. I also wouldn’t order based on “What’s good here?” because a lot of the things that are “Good here” are not usually good for you, nutritionally. So, when it came time to go out and order a meal I ordered a healthy alternative, and I really enjoyed it.
Yet another example was just last night when I went to the theatre to see a movie. We got to the theatre and normally, my old identity would order popcorn with butter and a large Coke to top it off. My new identity wouldn’t eat that kind of food, so I looked at the menu and saw that there really wasn’t anything at the movie theatres that was nutritionally good for me so I decided not to order anything. Immediately though, an old belief popped up and said “But the popcorn with butter tastes so good, that’s what you came for!” and immediately my brain just thought about my new identity and under my new identity I thought to myself “I came here for the movie, not the butter on the popcorn.” and that was it. It felt somewhat weird not to have something in my hands to munch on while I watched the movie, but after a short while it felt normal. I no longer need to order popcorn and drink pop when I go out to see a movie. My new identity goes to see the movie when I go out to see a movie.
These are a couple of examples from my life, and you’ll have to make your own decisions this way as well. The beliefs that you wrote down are a good start, but new beliefs you aren’t even aware of will pop up throughout your life and you’ll need to squash them right there and then. Someone will offer you a certain food or beverage and you’ll need to make a decision quickly. The way to do this is to think from your new identity. Pretend you already are fit and healthy, do you say “Yes” when someone asks you if you want a super-large slurpie? Do you say “sure!” when someone offers you a beer? Or a pop? Or do you instead ask for a glass of water?
You need to start getting more and more comfortable with your new self. If you become comfortable with your new self, so will everyone else. It might feel a bit awkward at first but soon it will become second nature.
So, the summarized version of this step is this: When you consciously become aware that you need to change your identity to a future self that’s healthier and more fit, you can start to visualize that self and all the benefits of that self. Once you have a picture in your mind of what that looks like you can begin to ask yourself “what would my new self do?” whenever a decision needs to be made. As you begin to identify more and more with your new self, you will make decisions from that person’s point of view, and you will take action from that person’s point of view. Taking those actions and thinking like that new person will strengthen your new identity which makes the process easier and easier. This is the great news of all this. Once you commit to this, and you start taking actions based on your new identity, it just gets easier and easier. Your diet program will become easy, you’ll find yourself exercising more and not resisting it so much. Every little step you take towards re-identifying yourself, will make life flow more and more easy for you.
So begin this today. Think about some of the qualities of your future self right now and start thinking from that person’s point of view. It would be very beneficial to set some time aside and to really think about your new identity and plan it out on paper. This might take a few hours or even a few days, but in the meantime you can start with little things.
Now, let me just briefly mention the importance of this step and why so many people miss it. As I mentioned above, most people are afraid of changing their identity. They are afraid of the unknown, of new behaviors and new ways of thinking. They aren’t sure if other people will accept their new self. After all, most people have spent years, if not decades become their current identity and they are comfortable, but unfulfilled with their present self. Comfort can be a very powerful force working against you if you are unaware of the fact that your new self will be even more comfortable than your current self once you get through re-defining yourself. Think about it; Isn’t it more comfortable to be fit and healthy than overweight, uhealthy, and slowly manifesting all sorts of disease in your body?
Because most people are afraid of changing their identity, they try to “do an exercise program” by taking action and hoping that they will be able to DO things like exercise without changing who they are. This is impossible. If you DO exercise for long enough, your identity will change. If you’re overweight and you’re used to shopping at stores for plus sized people, you will eventually have to start shopping at a store for smaller sizes. If you exercise regularly, your waist size will change. Your friends and relative will start identifying you as a fit person if you stick with your plan. You can’t get away from it. When people see you at the grocery store buying healthy foods, and see how fit you are, they will identify you as a fit/healthy person, and you can’t get away from it. You need to accept that your identity will change. Your core self, your “soul” or “spirit” will never change, but your identity will. Become aware of this and accept it. It is not a bad thing, it is a wonderful thing that you should be very excited about.
If you do not accept your new identity, for whatever reason, every action you try to take using willpower, like exercising, like eating healthy etc. will feel totally incongruent with you. You will not feel like yourself. Your willpower will be forcing you to go to the gym, but you’ll be there on the treadmill thinking “I don’t belong here. I’m not one of these fit people. What am I doing here?” and that inner dialogue will kill your program. When you walk into a health food store you will feel weird if you’re walking in under your old identity. Every action you try to take will be effortful and uncomfortable, not because the steps necessary are difficult, but because they are out of alignment with who you are.
When your friends offer you a beer and you decline it and ask for water instead, they might say “What? Give me a break, you’re not one of those health nuts now are you?”. You need to be ready with your new identity so you can respond with “Yeah, my health is important to me, I’d love a glass of water instead though.” or something of that sort instead of “What? Health nut? NO! I’m not one of those health nuts! Can I have some water though?” See how that just doesn’t sound congruent? You’re defending your old identity while trying to take action based on your new identity. It doesn’t work long term.
That’s it for this step, but please don’t underestimate the importance of it. So many people fail to take the time to clearly think about this step and the action steps they take later on when trying to eat healthy, or trying to exercise become increasingly difficult because they are incongruent with their current identity.
Identify your new self, become comfortable with your new self, and then sooner than you think you’ll start thinking like your new self, acting like your new self and achieving the results of your new self. You will BECOME your new, healthy, fit self and enjoy all the benefits of that new identity.